


Ash's Berserk collection

by CoreData



Category: Berserk
Genre: F/M, Feels, Finally something from my favourite series, Guts is sad in places, I dunno how to tag this, I gave myself diabetes thinking about Guts/Casca things, OoC at times, Tag diary, people die, pus, unedited
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-02-08 09:51:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1936404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoreData/pseuds/CoreData
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a collection of things I've written concerning Berserk, most of which are short and all are terrible.</p><p>Enjoy lovelies.</p><p>[PLEASE BURN THIS OUT OF CHARACTER GARBAGE. I REGRET EVERYTHING]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prompt: Guts thinking about the lost children

Sighing softly as the gentle and constant sway of the large wooden ship lulls him into a form of relaxation, Guts thumps his head back into the pillow upon the cot, drifting through his thoughts endlessly for what seems like hours, the largely built man can’t help but slowly and darkly descend into past events. Chewing his lower lip the raven-haired man thinks back to Jill, to Rosine, to those… children, no, they were demons, not children. Rosine destroyed their lives; damned them beyond repair, their only way to be peaceful was to die. Turning onto his side to face the ship’s hull, staring into the groove, the black swords man runs a hand through his hair as the guilt builds up and coils in his stomach.  
Shaking his head, the muscled-man tries to push the guilt from his mind and body with the continuous thought of he HAD to do it, it was the only way and denying that he honestly felt joy doing those deplorable things. The sound of the fire roaring as it burns away at the pods and the contents. The sound of that disgusting apostle Rosine angered by his actions, the noises she made as he fought her and the worry from Jill and Puck. Guts relished the fact he showed Jill an adult’s world, his world to be exact, and a world she could never imagine in a million year. Feeling a smile pull at his face, Guts gives a hearty laugh, enjoying his thoughts now as he settles down, an inhuman, Chelsea-grin plastered on his face.


	2. Prompt: Shisu's death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty AU because these are all gonna be fairly AU with the rare exception

At a very young age Gut knew what death was, he had to, especially if his adoptive ‘father’ was a mercenary, a killer for money and living within a mercenary camp was no help. Guts made up his mind very early that he too would become a killer for money just to make Gambino proud much to Shisu’s distress. Death scared Guts at first, some familiars in the camp would disappear indefinitely or some would come back disfigured, injured beyond repair, ruined in Guts’ eyes, they left quickly after being unable to participate in further bloodbaths with people like Gambino.  
During one campaign in an area felled of all it’s trees the rats which in their search for food turned to the camp and overran it, everywhere you looked there would be horrid, skinny rat gnawing on something and it wasn’t long until some camp members started complaining about headaches or suffering boiling fevers. The nausea and painful joints swept over a large concentration of the camp, putting a few hundred mercenaries and other camp followers out of commission, Shisu, a ‘lady of the night’ succumbing to the sickness the doctors and others in the medical field deemed the plague.  
As quickly as the woman Guts called mother caught the plague it just as quickly took its toll on her body, grotesque buboes formed, leaking white pus, soaking the disgusting fluid into the bed as nurses tended to her diligently in a weak attempt at getting her back to full health as Guts stood in the tent. It was Shisu’s seventh day of sickness and people knew she would soon pass over, ignoring any shouts of the little boy to leave the tent to prevent being infected, Guts only got closer to Shisu, holding a hand with both hands tightly he gulps, forcing a weak smile. Ignoring the acral gangrene her fingers had succumbed to along with the stench of her flesh dying and slowly rotting away.  
Anger filled Guts that Gambino was fighting instead of being by Shisu’s side in her last moments, placing a tiny hand on her cheek, Guts brushes the sweat hair from Shisu’s cheek before leaning over to press a tiny kiss to her forehead before leaning back with tears pricking at his eyes. Tightening his grip on Shisu’s hand, he waits out her death against the orders from the doctors, letting tears fall down his face as the breathing coming from his mother becomes shallower and shallower in between groans and her babbling in a delirium.  
The moment a doctor puts hand on Guts’ shoulder, the boy turns and looks up before gritting his teeth, shaking the hand from his shoulder he leans in to wrap his short arms around Shisu’s stomach. Crying into the rough blanket until his throat was sore and his eyes red and puffy, unable to cry anymore, he gives Shisu a final kiss on the forehead before her corpse was hauled out from the tent to be burnt.  
He would never get Shisu back, he would damn Gambino to hell and back if he had someone else but instead he would be a subservient dog, craving Gambino, his father’s attention to the end of days. Living by his sword for the rest of his life and becoming cold and twisted in the guise of being a child.  
That; was the only time Guts would think twice about mercenary life.


	3. Prompt: Proposing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Modern day AU for reasons.
> 
> Thinking about this gave me diabetes also deal with OoC

The night of Guts and Casca’s second year anniversary had been going well, Casca constantly surprised by the events popping up especially for the night and the couple of gifts Guts had bestowed upon her, smiling sheepishly for once, glad he had asked his friends for advice after all, Guts was terrible at picking gifts.   
Dinner at a lovely restaurant went well, Casca beaming the entire way through and the same with Guts, replacing his usual unconscious pout. Part way through dinner, Guts slips a hand into his suit pocket, running his finger over the velvet box with a grin before going back to eating slowly with Casca, hardly able to contain his excitement. Guts had planned this night, asked advice from virtually everybody he knew on how to make the night perfect, which everyone was happy to give. After finishing desert and paying for the meal, Guts takes Casca in hand, giving it a loving squeeze as they leave the building, head to the nearest park. Freeing her hand, Casca links her arm around Guts’ before sliding her hand back into his, leaning against his arm as they walked and conversed and thanked each other for the night and day.  
Traversing through the park slowly, Guts sets his eyes on the fountain in the centre, leading Casca there with a soft smile the raven-haired man turns to Casca the second she lets go of his arm. Reaching into his pocket to pull the box into his finger, Guts drops to one knee, holding the box up before opening it as a grin forms onto his face. “Casca, I… I want to hold you a million more time, will you marry me?” Stiffening up from Guts' words, Casca brings hand to her face, covering her mouth as she nods profusely, tears forming and sliding down her face as Guts stand to grab a hand and slide the ring onto her finger. Wrapping his woman into an embrace, Guts presses a kiss to her forehead.  
“I love you, Casca”


	4. Lionheart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration: Lionheart by Battle beast.

If only she could see inside his heart, if only Casca could see Guts again. If the madness wasn’t clouding her mind, twisting her psyche, perhaps she could fill the cracks in his soul and find love within the void growing within.

  
Guts was an empty shell, falling into ruin and disrepair.  
He needed Casca but was she all there…?

  
Closing off the wounds, Guts would dream of holding Casca close to his heart despite love never being a viable salvation. Guts would fight, he would roar and he would cry if need be so that one day he may live free and brave.

  
He couldn’t feel Casca’s love, he only felt the rage and desperation well up within, chipping away at his senses and humanity, stripping him of his soul piece by piece and adding to the shadowed abyss.

  
His love was nothing more than a funeral pyre burning high, the embers flying off into the night sky, each glowing dimly into the darkness. His love felt like it was worthless and fleeting no matter how hard he tried to grasp it and pull it back. It was futile. His final breath belonged with the final ember.

  
Each battle, when he would sit somewhere in the breeze, clutching his sword, the struggler would shut his eyes for a few minutes, wheezing softly. Could Guts take anymore, would he finally die tonight and fly towards the stars? Honestly, how much more could he take?

  
How much could he struggle?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow fuck. Been drifting in and out of Berserk, sorry guys. The hype is real so I might start posting a little more frequently.


End file.
